Matches for: “gauguin” …

paul gauguin cruises


I Googled Paul Gauguin today. Here’s what I found:


CRUISES?! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. Is this a JOKE?! You’re absolutely kidding me. So much for not swearing as a resolution in 2015. Or giving up hating Gauguin.

According to their website, you can:

Enjoy your meals at your leisure at stellar, onboard restaurants, and spend your evenings relaxing and enjoying entertainment in our lounge. Whether you choose to indulge your body, mind, or spirit, you’re sure to find an activity to match your passion on The Gauguin

I hope they give out syphilis as part of the greeting package. And a part of an ear. But mostly the syphilis.

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gauguin: an erotic life

mowll mathews

It’s not news that I have a deep, loathing hatred of Paul Gauguin. Like, hate. But there are moments that I’m like, “You know? Maybe it’s bad karma,” so I’ll investigate for an article of a biographer who may happen to see the good in Gauguin. I uncovered an old interview of Nancy Mowll Mathews, author of “Paul Gauguin: An Erotic Life.”

When asked if she could ever be interested in Gauguin:

Gauguin was in fact a bully and an abusive husband…I began seeing how unpopular he was during his lifetime. How his habits were so in-your-face in a sexual way. Could I be attracted to Gauguin? Yes. I think he was a terribly charismatic person. I think he was very seductive when he wanted to be. I think everyone would have succumbed to his charms, particularly a young person. I kind of doubt it at this point of my life — you meet people like that and you think, “Yeah. Yeah. Right.” If you were young and this person were as colorful and intriguing as he was, I could see why people liked him.”

Um, gross. And unconvincing. And well, just traditionally expected at this point. Gauguin, you continue to be the worst.



found gauguin

Just what we need in the news: A found Gauguin. UGH. 

Gauguin’s “Fruit on a Table or Still Life with a Small Dog” was recently rediscovered when an unassuming Italian paid an equivalent to $25 for the work at an auction back in the 70s.

The painting, which was unveiled by—of all things, the Italian CULTURE Ministry, earlier this week (the IRONY)—was stolen with another work. Together, they went to auction after chilling in a Lost and Found when the artworks were abandoned on a train post-theft.

I’m guessing they realized they had a Gauguin. 

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It’s no secret Paul Gauguin is an awful, boring human with no friends and a condescending nature…but at least he’s able to nail a perfect boredom.


There’s something incredibly knowing about the eyebrow of the woman closest to us, yeah? Like, the mystery, the intrigue…girlfriend is fascinating.

Which, I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW: painted by the hand of Paul Gauguin, I should hate it. But perhaps–just perhaps!–the gal’s like, “yo girl, I hear you about this clown.”


Nothing really suggests any sort of joy exuded from either woman. And let’s be honest, I expect nothing less when it comes to being a forced subject of Paul Gauguin’s.

The man is simply intolerable.

come on, louis.

10-Gauguin-avenida de clichy Paris-1889.jpg

So there’s not really much to say other than Louis Anquetin’s “Avenue de Clichy” is a big, fat phony of an artwork.

Is that too much? Fine. I’ll utilize appropriated here.

Louis Anquetin’s “Avenue de Clichy” is a raging example of appropriation.

Let’s start with composition: Vincent van Gogh’sCafe Terrace at Night” is almost exact in both style, layout, and color.

How about characters: Pretty apparent Anquetin studied Georges Seurat’s “Afternoon on the Grande Jatte” because hello, look at that woman facing the left of the painting! They’re like twins.

No, but really, more characters: No surprise, either, Anquetin’s lookin’ to Toulouse-Lautrec, either. I say this for two reasons: One, he’s totally pulling from a Moulin Rouge dancer with that chick hiking her dress up in the rain, and two, that cropped face in the bottom right?? Couldn’t be more blatantly borrowed from Henri if we tried.

At least we know now who was the science nerd doing all the homework for the Post-Impressionist jocks, amirite? Raise your hand, Louis. And stop trying so hard.


oh sheesh.


Behold the fright: Paul Gauguin, in year 1896, with a doctor and what appears to be his mistress Pahura.

Also, the Smithsonian article that relays this information includes Gauguin having syphilis. And they’re like, a national institution…I’m gonna believe ’em.

Remember when I said I was going to take back hating his work? Well (and, for the love of all, I don’t know when I’m even surprised), he looks like a trashed frat boy with this toga/laurel thing.

I do have to say, though: Pahura’s expression is everythingggggg.

Jeanne Goupil


My birthday was last week, and I started to think to myself, hmm, let’s be more open to things I used to despise. I dunno, something with the President-Trump-vernacular (plus the whole shutting down arts programming, period) has me like, yeah, let’s start fresh.

Anyway, I started thinking I should seriously (seriously!) reconsider Paul Gauguin’s work. And every though I can’t–like, legit, can not–support any of his personal choices or history, I say I don’t quite loathe this portrait Jeanne Goupil.

Maybe it’s less Gauguin’s talent, and more just Jeanne’s hair is on point, and that puffy sleeve has really stood the test of time.

I heard some Trump rally dumbo interviewed on NPR this morning, and she said, “Y’know, I really support his giving 110%, because if he gets even 75% back, what is there to lose?”

Uh, 35%, duh. Well, similarly, I’ll pretend I gave it all to support Gauguin and I’m gettin’ a bit back on these blunt bangs.




Not a surprise, but just in case you were wondering, I’ve uncovered another Gauguin to hate with all your guts. Mr. Loulou is Louis Lo Ray is probably the most bored-looking/timid boy I have ever seen on a Gauguin canvas.

Good hair though. Very post-transformation Beauty and the Beast.