arthipstory

Yes to everything about this look. The dunes, the strappy sandal, that happy dog?! He’s about to absolutely devour that hat, but look at that JOY!

So, remember when I said I’d tell you all the things that $100 million could buy you besides another four seasons of KUWTK? Well, I’m delivering as promised, but I’m just a little late (ask my frenz — I’m always late to just about everything).

You could buy a Frank Gehry-designed Guggenheim in Bilbao, Spain. Cost: $89 million in 1997

You could beat out the guy who purchased Alberto Giacometti’s “Walking Man I” for $104 million. (I’m gonna say if you’re spending a hundred million, what’s another four?)

How much more seriously would take household chores if you could bring back this effortless kerchief look? Or those psychedelic bubbles?! I KNOW I WOULD.

I have two scar stories. The first one’s about how some guy in second grade pushed me in a rose bush and said that was his way of dumping me (He’s a cop now — talk about atonement, good sir!). The second one’s from high school, when I covered a desk chair with broken coffee mugs (my mom was pissed, btw).

When my art teacher told me to rework it during a critique, I was like, “Sure thing!” It was about a minute after ripping hot-glued shards of ceramic off plastic when I sliced my knuckle open. My art teacher was like, “You’ll be fine,” as blood pooled on the floor. A week later, the school nurse told me I should’ve gotten stitches.

So, kudos to Margarita Sampson, who is smart enough to create whimsical chair embellishments that won’t cause physical (OR EMOTIONAL) harm.

I hope everyone can pair a luxurious start to their Sunday with a messy bun and a floral collared blouse.

That bow, that stole, that parcel?! This is my ideal life, realized. I’m going to hunt down a hat to smirk under with that sassy stance, STAT.

Dolly Parton fan art appropriates Botticelli. Fan art FTW.

A scholar wants you to think that van Gogh slipped in the “Last Supper” to his “Cafe at Arles” work.

Look closely, Jared Baxter! There aren’t even FACIAL FEATURES. Jared Baxter! Ay yai yai. Well, with that name, I’d invent a ridiculous art theory myself! Jared Baxter. Yeesh!

Monday. In every single sense. If it weren’t from DWTS returning to television tonight, I don’t know WHAT I’d do.