arthipstory

Fragonard was commissioned by Madame Du Barry to do a series called “The Progress of Love.”

Madame Du Barry was the grand mistress of Louis XV (reminder: XV was the penultimate King of France before his grandson XVI ruined…well, everything royal…with the French Revolution).

Barry was also gifted the most sensational diamond necklace by same guy, who died before its ultimate finish, which sucks because she didn’t even get to keep it: She was of course banished by his grandson, Louis XVI.

Things don’t end up well for Barry: She ends up both banished by Louis XVI and without an incredible diamond necklace (it was a huge scandal, called simply “The Affair of the Necklace,” which…so boring).

Before all that bad news, however, is this gorgeous “The Lover Crowned.” I’m so obsessed. I can’t wait to drape a man in a goddamn laurel as if to say, “”I PHYSICALLY CROWN YOU WITH MY LOVE.”

What a pair we’d make…just don’t banish me without diamonds.

Now, I’m not one to be particularly topical on this thing (that’s more for cocktail parties and catered river cruises), but DANG!, the recent work that’s been done on this discovered Amelia Earhart photograph is fascinating!

Apparently, “Nana” was a pet name for 19th-century women of…pleasure.

My grandmother would be beside herself if she knew this.

Whatever, I’m gonna applaud this particular Nana because, hello, look at her just completely ignore this dude on the right to powder her nose.

I work similarly, in that I’ll tell my date (or friends, or family, or really anyone) I’m needing just a few minutes…but I’m still painting my nails while charging my phone on the nightstand.

Wayne Thiebaud is easily the most darling.

Generally this is my reaction to everyone interrupting my Boden shopping to asking if I’ve met other “work related” deadlines for crucial quarterly reports.

Get there when I get there, team.

Caravaggio paints the moment the Resurrected Christ reveals himself over broken bread and the dinner table.

I love (love!) how the guy on the left tears his shirt at the elbow, but the guy on the right? He looks so bored. In spite of his outstretched hands, this guy’s jaw doesn’t even drop!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME, DISCIPLE? Look alive! It’s the risen LORD, for crying out loud!

So, remember when I said I was going to take the scholarly approach to this little corner of the Internet?

Ba ha ha.

In all seriousness, can I please have some anonymous admirer send me this dozen box of doughnuts?! Who actually finds flowers more romantic? I’m not about it. I would much prefer this sensational iced-strawberry-and-chocolate doughnut combo than any baby’s breath.

❤ just saying..

Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec presents just about every predicament I find myself in when I’m just trying to play Drag Bingo, and someone thinks they get to talk to us.

A lot of people disliked May Milton, a dancer featured in this lithograph by Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec (the IMA website reports she was “short on talent and physical beauty”…ouch).

Fortunately for May, however, a private collector in Indiana inherited this particular lithograph in 1978. (Note: a lithograph is a painting made on a flat limestone surface…there’s a lot of ink-and-water-repelling-positive-and-negative-space-type conversations to have, but all you really need to know is paint’s repelled throughout the surface and makes a print, and water clears the rest.)

Anyway, the print that you see here is a version of one featured in Picasso’s “The Blue Room” from 1901. This one has since been restored and is in private hands. Lucky bastards. Like, I can barely justify flights to my best friend’s wedding, and these people are just waving money and Lautrec work around like it’s nothing.

Let me tell you, this outfit? This stance?! I’m not crazy for the company kept on the left of this chick, nor her hat, but hellooooo everything else!