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Mary Cassatt’s Child Drinking Milk from around 1868 is really just me, being told to drink water in between vodka lemonades by my best friend who won’t nurse my hangover.

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Further proof that Judy Garland was a total knockout.

Look at that hair!

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TGIF, y’all.

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I was a regular at a place for awhile whose bartender would add Old Bay to their homemade chips for me, and I was in loveeeeee.

Then, LIKE AN IDIOT, I said yes to going on a date with him and he turned into an actual dumbo. The worst, truly; congratulations on never going to college, dude. Like, impressive. Oh, you’re in a band?! Fancy.

Which is super sad because, like, I LOVE CRAWFISH BOILS. AND NOW I CAN’T EVEN ENJOY ‘EM BC THIS MORON RUINED OLD BAY FOR ME.

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Mary Cassatt’s sister Lydia sat for The Cup of Tea in 1881. She exhibited the work in the Salon’s Impressionist exhibition the same year.

From the Met:

Taking afternoon tea was a social ritual for many upper-middle-class women. Committed to portraying the ordinary events of everyday life, the artist made that ritual the subject of a series of works painted around 1880, when she had been living abroad for the better part of a decade.

…oh, I get it. Tea’s like nineteenth-century SoulCycle.

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I think I went on a date with the guy in the foreground last week.

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Joel Penkman’s bacon satisfies every craving.

Except the one that gives it to me immediately. With one, nay two, Belgian waffles. And mimosas. On a sun-drenched porch for al fresco dining. On a Saturday.

Great….so really the only craving that’s satisfied is…more cravings.

me: makes a to-do list
me: writes “make to-do list”
me: crosses off “make a to-do list” off the list

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All hail.

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When my younger friend asks me to craft a perfect Bumble introduction for her.

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Giving up dairy is going well…

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