Please, please, pleaaaaseeeeee, Mallory Ortberg?!! Just hire me already.
Read the entire series “Women Who Want to be Alone” here.
i have my needlework
and my secrets
ahh i would love to stay and go out with you
i would love that
but i have to keep running away from you
how did you say 😦 out loud like that
idk sorry cant stop running away tho!!
sorry my arms are trees now
what’s that, can’t hear you, arms are trees