Please, please, pleaaaaseeeeee, Mallory Ortberg?!! Just hire me already.
Read the entire series “Women Who Want to be Alone” here.
i have my needlework
and my secrets
ahh i would love to stay and go out with you
i would love that
so much
but i have to keep running away from you
sorry
😦
how did you say 😦 out loud like that
idk sorry cant stop running away tho!!
ahh sorryyyy
sorry my arms are trees now
what’s that, can’t hear you, arms are trees
Over the weekend, I elbowed through hipster crowds in this unusual late-September heat to view pretzel earrings and graphic tees at Crafty Bastard. I don’t know why there aren’t more things like this in DC. Let’s fix that, crafters!
One of my favorite stands though was Alternate Histories. A T-Rex in Botticelli’s Birth of Venus? A dinosaur interrupting the serenity of The Grande Jatte? Sign me up. Turns out this guy also has a book coming out in October. I mean, you already know how I feel about an altered Venus…
Girl, I see you and I hear that. I wouldn’t wanna be about that “painted by Gauguin” life either.
Read more about how much I loathe Paul Gauguin here, here, here, here, here…oh!, and here.
Zeus made Atlas hold the heavens after the Titans lost to the Olympians.
This looks like a globe, right? That whole “world on your shoulders” mantra? From Atlas, right? Wrong. This is a celestial sphere, so, school your friends with that little piece of knowledge.
The Farnese Atlas is the oldest sculpture of the Titan, and is a second-century Roman marble copy of a Greek original.
Go ahead and see another Atlas at Rockefeller Center.
This Art Deco beauty was installed and unveiled in 1937. He’s 45 feet tall.
So, I moved into a new apartment, which means that I’ve basically thrown out everything that was all nice and right with my old place, and plan to burn a bunch of money on new things.
Well, some money. I’ll just go ahead and add these $140+ shower curtains from Anthropologie onto my Amazon Wishlist…hint hint.
I decided there’s no better way to start a Tuesday than to share another one of Mallory Ortberg’s masterpieces. Read the full article here.
i like dont want to be rude or anything
but me and this dog are kind of hanging out right now
so
this isn’t really doing it for me anymore
do you want me to tell them to dance faster
no
i want them to dance better
jesus
this is a nightmare
i didnt say stop
youre the only one i can trust
you and this leopard skin on the floor
the only ones i can trust
Mallory Ortberg, just hang out with me already.
Georges Seurat completed Sunday Afternoon on the Island of the Grand Jatte in 1886. He was 27. You know what I considered an artistic accomplishment at 27? Marble painting my nails.
Sometimes art is Art always is the love of a beloved, best friend, soulmate, ballerina-twin-emoji partner for life. Thank you for this book, you beautiful thing. I treasure you.
arthipstory 
