unsatisfied women

I decided there’s no better way to start a Tuesday than to share another one of Mallory Ortberg’s masterpieces. Read the full article here

mallory11

i like dont want to be rude or anything
but me and this dog are kind of hanging out right now
so

mallory22

 

this isn’t really doing it for me anymore
do you want me to tell them to dance faster
no
i want them to dance better
jesus
this is a nightmare
i didnt say stop

mallory33

 

youre the only one i can trust
you and this leopard skin on the floor
the only ones i can trust

Mallory Ortberg, just hang out with me already.

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