While this only looks like it’s drawn on a napkin, Joe Bradley’s “Unknown” portrait is actually a print on newspaper. Let’s pretend it’s on a napkin, though, for the sake of me thinking, I’d rather have this passed to me at a bar than someone’s goddamn phone number.
Free prints from @littlegoldpixel trump any curb art lately.
You know when you’re on a relatively mediocre date, and the guy says, “Okay, you get to take one painting home. Which would it be?” IS THIS A TEST?! You expect me to encapsulate everything about my dynamic, sensational self in one painting or sculpture? Get real. (I’m not speaking from experience or anything…it’s clearly a hypothetical.)
Turns out though, this abstract date question can actually be made real! You can buy one of Wade Guyton‘s pieces that’s also at MoMA…for a measly 159 dollars.
You can even scoop this book up on Amazon, for crying out loud:
It’s not even an add-on item. Talk about art for art’s sake here.
When someone’s asked if I ventured out in the snowstorm the past five days. NO, alright?! I was quite content watching “Making a Murderer” and responding to all the hopeful meet-up invitations with, “Can’t. Busy.”
ICYMI: The Infanta Isabella Clara Eugenia had a pretty sweet reign in the 17th century, and was married to Albert*, Archduke of Austria.
*Don’t worry, the Prince Albert you’re thinking of (and if you’re not, major kudos), has no relation to this broad. Apparently, all that type of Prince Albert’s an urban legend, but IDK–I can’t really Google that stuff at a Starbucks, you know? This ish is a family establishment.
When those little texting bubbles appear on your screen, only to disappear.
I often strive to be a Mademoiselle Becat: humble and effortlessly striking, while rocking both a corset and a top knot. Christ, if only. Instead, I’m more the chick whispering about how being a girl like that must be so damn boring.
“No, please, continue to describe at length your social calendar from which I am conspicuously absent.”
No, Lisa, really. I’m dying to know about how you’ll be trekking to a bottomless mimo brunch in this goddamn snowstorm. I’m sure it will be snow much fun, which girl, yes! Use that as your Snap Story caption with, like, all the sparkles and champs emojis.
Although Jean Louis Forain’s “In the Wings” suggests a quiet moment during a ballet or something, this is actually my next blind date–just swap boring and portly for tall and handsome. My outfit may or may not boast the same amount of cleavage, but I can guarantee that look of boredom slash disinterest matches anything in my closet.
“In the Wings” was gifted as part of Martin A. Ryerson’s bequest to the Art Institute of Chicago in 1933. Aside from being a bona fide hottie, he was Chicago’s richest man at only 36. #LIFEGOALS
For this snowstorm, I’m actually going to paint large canvases on the floor, and smoke excessively while doing it.
arthipstory 
