Tag Archives: napoleon

be more, biltmore

Quick Vanderbilt family tree history (the who’s who, if you will):

Cornelius Vanderbilt (Kris Jenner)
– Railroad mogul/patriarch
– Married twice (one was a cousin), had 13 children
– NET WORTH = >5 BEYONCES ($4.6 BIL VS. $450 MIL)

William “Billy” Henry Vanderbilt (Kim Kardashian)
– Oldest son of Cornelius
– Net worth? What’d be six billion in 2016
– Scored 95% of dad’s estate (NINETY-FIVE! Apparently, CV believed in only one offspring)

George Washington Vanderbilt II (North)
– Favorite son of Billy’s (which, obviously I went with North over Saint…we’ve seen, what, three photos of Saint on Snap?!!)
– Was supposed to ride the Titanic, but chickened out


Biltmore Estate was built by George/North. It has pretty standard accommodations:
– 250 rooms (incl. 43 bathrooms),
– works by Renoir and chess sets once owned by Napoleon.

Downside: It’s about half the acreage of Versailles  (though a measly 1/4 of living space). UGH.

It was designed by the same guy who designed the Met’s Great Hall and the base of the Statue of Liberty. I mean, it still win’s America’s largest home, but I’m all, just take me to Versailles, then.

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not complex


Are we sure Napoleon has Napoleonic complex? The lavish furs, golden laurel, oversize scepter…just put five cocktails and an Eggs Chesapeake in front of this guy and he seems like my next Bumble date. After this work week, my standards are low as hell. No, actually, 5’6″ el-oh-double-u.

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in case you didn’t know.


And lots of other cutesy, artistically-rendered facts available here. Mike Lowery, you are real talented. I like your work and your quips as much as your nervous Napoleon.

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right this way


No one knows this, Napoleon isn’t encouraging troops as much as he’s telling me where the weekend is. And it is every bit as far as I’m imagining, SURELY.

Karolus Magnus, underneath Napoleon’s horse Marengo’s bottom hooves, is the Latin for Charles the Great, aka Charlemagne, a king who made a pretty amazing kingdom out of um, say, ALL OF EUROPE. Way to honor your predecessors, Napoleon.

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