Monthly Archives: July 2016



Gearing up for battle Monday. This hair though…

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just one more thing


Honestly, there are about seventy different captions I want to use on this:

Option A, to my blind date: “Do you mind repeating that thing about me being funny? I want to write that down.”

Option B, to my friend on the phone: “Okay, I’m ready to listen to all the problems you have with being single.”

Option C, to literally anyone in the workplace at 4:57: “Sure thing, I’m not busy at all. What can I help you with?”



Picasso was a rather significant procrastinator when he started painting Guernica in 1937. It was commissioned for the World’s Fair (held that year in Paris), but started it like, three weeks before the exhibition was scheduled to open. Three weeks, Pablo!? OH MAN. All my greatest papers were always started the night before.

Things you might not know, but will be glad to when I tell ya:

  • Picasso included another version that had color (including a sad—yet probably captivating—red tear from the crying woman),
  • Germany’s recommendation of the piece was not positive (in fact, it was compared to work a four year old could accomplish),
  • Picasso doesn’t give a damn about interpreting the elements or composition.
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Mrs_Louis_E_Raphael_b (1)

The moment when I realized I got dressed up to go on a date, only to learn the guy’s most certainly not over his ex.

What a gosh darn waste of a choker.


comin for ya


James Tissot painted On the Thames in 1882. What’s a real downer is, Tissot’s main hang and muse, Kathleen Newton, died the same year. She met him a few years earlier, and then had a son…like, exactly nine months later.

What I love:
a.) her sassy face
b.) her teensy little waist
c.) the two dudes that get suckered into steadying her off the boat

I once took an Uber pool with the frattiest guys, and they didn’t even suggest getting out of the car to help me out…let alone taking me across water.




Are you KIDDING ME, James Tissot?! You are a bona fide BABE.

I don’t even care that you didn’t exhibit with the Impressionists in 1874: all the more reason you’re just a renegade hottie.


hey ladies!

John Singer Sargent - Ena And Betty Daughters of Asher And Mrs Wertheimer_t1

Comin’ outta the weekend like whoa.

be more, biltmore

Quick Vanderbilt family tree history (the who’s who, if you will):

Cornelius Vanderbilt (Kris Jenner)
– Railroad mogul/patriarch
– Married twice (one was a cousin), had 13 children
– NET WORTH = >5 BEYONCES ($4.6 BIL VS. $450 MIL)

William “Billy” Henry Vanderbilt (Kim Kardashian)
– Oldest son of Cornelius
– Net worth? What’d be six billion in 2016
– Scored 95% of dad’s estate (NINETY-FIVE! Apparently, CV believed in only one offspring)

George Washington Vanderbilt II (North)
– Favorite son of Billy’s (which, obviously I went with North over Saint…we’ve seen, what, three photos of Saint on Snap?!!)
– Was supposed to ride the Titanic, but chickened out


Biltmore Estate was built by George/North. It has pretty standard accommodations:
– 250 rooms (incl. 43 bathrooms),
– works by Renoir and chess sets once owned by Napoleon.

Downside: It’s about half the acreage of Versailles  (though a measly 1/4 of living space). UGH.

It was designed by the same guy who designed the Met’s Great Hall and the base of the Statue of Liberty. I mean, it still win’s America’s largest home, but I’m all, just take me to Versailles, then.

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Friday AND pay day?! Gimme that ice cream.

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Trying to recreate this look for my first date tonight. Fine, I’ll go without the flowers and nip slip, but in this humidity, playing up the frizzy hair with a distracting neckline is a must.