Tag Archives: women



“So as I was saying,” I said to no one ever.

Sadly, Picasso and model Battina Graziani don’t exactly look like they’re having a good time. It’s hard for me to even imagine working to sustain the attention of a man, so yeesh, Batty, looks rough!

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“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not really.”

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heart of hart

emma hart.jpg

Lord Nelson was an officer in the Royal Navy, and dated this hot number named Emma Hart (though she was married to Sir William Hamilton when they first met). She wasn’t just a flag officer’s girl, but apparently the sensational muse of portrait painter George Romney. She was 17 when she posed as Circe, the goddess of magic.

Not surprising, Hart’s affair with Nelson produced major scandal. Spoilers: They had a child, he died, she gets dumped by all things Britain, and she dies penniless in 1815. At least she looks foxy in her goddess garb. A shame she couldn’t turn haters into animals like the real Circe.

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frank + ava


‘If you have to go to war with a country, maybe you stand a chance of winning,’ Frank told his friend Tony Consiglio. ‘When you’re at war with a woman, you don’t have any chance. The best you can hope for is an occasional truce.’

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This is actually me at any social function; regally overdressed and ignoring every regular Joe suitor for the sake of eyeing someone taller, more handsome, and undoubtedly more successful. This weekend conference is gonna rule.

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becat, irl


I often strive to be a Mademoiselle Becat: humble and effortlessly striking, while rocking both a corset and a top knot. Christ, if only. Instead, I’m more the chick whispering about how being a girl like that must be so damn boring.

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go on


“No, please, continue to describe at length your social calendar from which I am conspicuously absent.”

No, Lisa, really. I’m dying to know about how you’ll be trekking to a bottomless mimo brunch in this goddamn snowstorm. I’m sure it will be snow much fun, which girl, yes! Use that as your Snap Story caption with, like, all the sparkles and champs emojis.

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symphony in white

symphony in white 1.jpg

John James Whistler worked on “The White Girl” religiously, and was known for getting up early to finish the work. (First of all, I can barely make Soul Survivor and that crap’s at nearly ten in the morning.)

Whistler, most famous for his mother, was twenty-seven at the time of painting “The White Girl.” Once submitting the work, he went to the Royal Academy of Arts (London’s equivalent of the French Salon) to see where it had been installed…and he found it, laying gently in a stack of rejects.

Misery loves company, apparently, because girlfriend ended up being rejected by the French Salon itself! It ended up being exhibited with other castoffs, including Manet’s  NSFW Déjeuner sur L’Herbe.

Last note: Whistler opted for “Symphony in White” as its new title to draw attention to the “true” subject — the paint. Personally, I would’ve tied in the bearskin rug or her frizzy hair to the whole symphony thing. Just a thought.

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jeanne samary


Jeanne Samary looks born ready for Friday, doesn’t she? Turns out she used to go out with Renoir, who painted her post-break up in the Luncheon of the Boating Party that you can see at the Phillips Collection in DC. She’s the one being a major flirt with the two men at the back. And Renoir’s new girlfriend is playing with the dog. Whaaaa?! Renoir, you so crazy!

boating party

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women who want to be alone

Please, please, pleaaaaseeeeee, Mallory Ortberg?!! Just hire me already.

Read the entire series “Women Who Want to be Alone” here.


i have my needlework
and my secrets


ahh i would love to stay and go out with you 
i would love that 
so much
but i have to keep running away from you 
how did you say 😦 out loud like that
idk sorry cant stop running away tho!!




ahh sorryyyy
sorry my arms are trees now 
what’s that, can’t hear you, arms are trees

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