Monthly Archives: April 2016



I told my girlfriends I’d be ready right after spin…

…that was about four hours ago. Woops. It’s just so hard to get dressed.



Cangiante is the third installation in this series on Italian Renaissance painting styles. WAHOO!

Michelangelo‘s Sistine Chapel is a particularly miraculous example of cangiante (it’s Italian for “change”). It means to use lots of tints and shades of color, even if it means using different colors completely to achieve a realistic shadow. For example, mixing red into the shadow of yellow to make it appear darker on canvas (or, in this case, plaster).

Note: I’ve already covered this, but ICYMI: The Prophet Isaiah, pictured above, was the influence behind Norman Rockwell‘s Rosie the Riveter. 

Boom! Drop that tidbit on a girl over burgers tomorrow and see what happens!

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How much does Cindy Sherman from 1977 look like Iggy Azalea?!


Too soon?

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Happy Friday, party people! I hope you’ll catch this series’ second post while you’re still at bars serving twofer Fireball shots, so you can impress all interns just a bar booth away!

Sfumato comes from the Italian word sfumare, meaning “shaded off.” It creates a smoky haziness that blends colors without the appearance of brushstrokes. Leonardo da Vinci is best-known for using sfumato in the facial features of Mona Lisa, as well as other works.

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There are a lot of civic duties being thrown around lately (not to mention shade to Rachel Roy), so I figured I should do mine and educate the masses with the four different styles of Renaissance painting.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you my first (serious) series on this beautiful soapbox.

Up first: chiaroscuro. Chiaroscuro comes from the Latin words for “bright” and “dark,” which is probably the most obvious etymology I’ve heard all day.

If you see a Caravaggio painting, it’s undoubtedly a strong example of chiaroscuro. He’s a Baroque painter that A.) I’m obsessed with, and B.) is famous for his intense use of high contrast lighting that puts most of his Biblical characters off to the side of the composition in a big ol’ shadow and behind a nobody or a horse’s ass.


Here’s Saint Peter being crucified with a big booty in the foreground.


Here’s the apostle Paul (before, as Saul) on the ground from hearing God on his way to Damascus. (Note: There’s SO FREAKING MUCH to say about this painting that it’ll get its own post soooooon.)

Stay tuned, kids! I’m about to provide all the fodder you’ll need to impress your dates in the Italian wings of museums this weekend.

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I’m gonna go ahead and say that this plate of lemons, painted by Vincent van Gogh, isn’t what everyone is talking about right now.

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Art we or aren’t we?

actual nightmare.


I see photos like this and I’m like, are you serious?! You want me to meet you at a happy hour?!

Joan Caulfield was a star with Paramount in the fifties. and was often called “feminine.” UH, NO KIDDING. YOU AREN’T EVEN TRYING TO SHED THAT LABEL, JOAN.


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whatta pair.


Sometimes art is the most beautiful couple of the 90s. Goodness, those cheeeeeekbones.

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