Monthly Archives: March 2017

femme assise


Picasso’s Femme Assise spent the last four decades in private hands, and yet went on to be one of the most significant auction items from Sotheby’s items of 2016.


Really? Because I’ve been about the fat-face-beady-eye-pursed lips look since about Christmas, and it’s not a good look. Spring Break diet starts like, three days ago.

oh sheesh.


Behold the fright: Paul Gauguin, in year 1896, with a doctor and what appears to be his mistress Pahura.

Also, the Smithsonian article that relays this information includes Gauguin having syphilis. And they’re like, a national institution…I’m gonna believe ’em.

Remember when I said I was going to take back hating his work? Well (and, for the love of all, I don’t know when I’m even surprised), he looks like a trashed frat boy with this toga/laurel thing.

I do have to say, though: Pahura’s expression is everythingggggg.

58bfe45e2700001800748b38.jpgNot really sure why the federal budget’s hatin’ on arts programming lately, because there are some real SMARTIES involved with its scholarship. For example, there’s all this work going on with contesting the authenticity of a recently-discovered work painted between 1600 and 1610.

People wanted to claim it as an original Caravaggio, but scholars are like, nah, because of the way the blood’s pouring out of the scene’s decapitation. Above is the discovered “Toulouse Canvas,” which is undergoing analysis. Below is an attributed Caravaggio, called Judith and Holofernes.


Art history rules.

dog > unicorn


Since it’s almost happy hour on Friday, I’m not gonna bore you all of the trivia you could master regarding Raphael’s Young Woman with Unicorn. 

But I WILL SAY, x-rays of this work suggest there was a DOG in the picture before the unicorn. 

I know what you’re thinking: I treasure my dog as equal to, if not more so, than any unicorn.

Jeanne Goupil


My birthday was last week, and I started to think to myself, hmm, let’s be more open to things I used to despise. I dunno, something with the President-Trump-vernacular (plus the whole shutting down arts programming, period) has me like, yeah, let’s start fresh.

Anyway, I started thinking I should seriously (seriously!) reconsider Paul Gauguin’s work. And every though I can’t–like, legit, can not–support any of his personal choices or history, I say I don’t quite loathe this portrait Jeanne Goupil.

Maybe it’s less Gauguin’s talent, and more just Jeanne’s hair is on point, and that puffy sleeve has really stood the test of time.

I heard some Trump rally dumbo interviewed on NPR this morning, and she said, “Y’know, I really support his giving 110%, because if he gets even 75% back, what is there to lose?”

Uh, 35%, duh. Well, similarly, I’ll pretend I gave it all to support Gauguin and I’m gettin’ a bit back on these blunt bangs.