arthipstory

I just bought this shirt and realized that the…
– high-waisted denim
– leather jacket
– long-ass nails and perfect manicure
– messy hair and big earrings
– bright lip
– IDGAF attitude

ARE NOT INCLUDED WITH THIS PURCHASE.

christ.

My mother sends me daily inspirational quotes about living life to the fullest.

And I’m just like, but can I get full on life from pizza?

She insists I can’t.

I talked myself into running a half-marathon in a month without any training.

I went to one, ONE!, fitness dance aerobic class last week and I’ve been sore for days.

This half is gonna rock!!!

I feel this exhausted and annoyed after waiting for like, one frozen dinner in the microwave.

I’ve bought tickets to not one, but two, things this weekend, and I am already overwhelmed and exhausted with commitment.

Well, if this isn’t my absolute favorite thing on the Internet today…

Thank you, Shoshana.

Make no mistake, I’ve already made a “Michelle Obama is NOT IMPRESSED” poster for my cubicle.

How fantastic is this painting of a grilled cheese?

In the grass?

On a sunny day?!

I mean, I’m *this* close to putting up my Christmas tree, but this has me pining for summer.

Nothing really suggests any sort of joy exuded from either woman. And let’s be honest, I expect nothing less when it comes to being a forced subject of Paul Gauguin’s.

The man is simply intolerable.

Edgar Degas takes me an ideal Saturday afternoon with his composition At the Races.

No, I’m joking. I wrote that before I started doing all this research. Spending time watching someone else nurse my child seems SUPER STRANGE. And I could not be FURTHER FROM PARENTHOOD RN.