Category Archives: Art

Apr 01 2016
Art

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I went to the Phillips Collection yesterday, and saw this beautiful work by Paul Gauguin. The Ham, from 1889, presents us with a portion size that’s absolutely acceptable, a handful of small onions, and a glass of wine that begs to be topped off.

Gaugin continues to be one of the most stunning users of color in the Post-Impressionist field. What he generated with bright, flat planes of color continues to be an inspiration to viewers and artists alike. The torture Gauguin must’ve felt on his endless quest for the Edenic primitivism cost him so much that we ought to…

…oh God, the horror. I CAN’T DO IT. This April Fool’s joke ends HERE AND NOW.

Gauguin was known to have said, “Let’s do a Cezanne.” Again with the originality, argued here, sir! I’m endlessly impressed, truly.

 

 

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Apr 01 2016
Art

time, death, and judgment

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George Frederick Watts really loves the allegories of Time, Death, and Judgment. The guy on the left is Time, and he’s doing a poor job dragging Death along with him. And just look at Judgment lost in the clouds, equipped with both boredom and a knife.

Let’s be real; Death is actually me when I had to share a flight of wine with a friend last week. Like, hello?, that’s what a flight issss. It gives me direct permission to drink three nearly-full glasses of gewürztraminer on my own, dude.

Only bored Judgment understands me.

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Mar 31 2016
Art

mistral = miserable.

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Vincent van Gogh lived with Paul Gauguin in the Yellow House for about nine weeks.

Nine.

If you ask me, that’s about nine too many.

During that hellacious time, Gauguin painted Mistral. The subject, Madame Ginoux, was the owner of a cafe, and is featured in multiple portraits by both artists. Doesn’t she look doggone miserable?! Cold wind, or cold dead stare from being visually confronted in a Gauguin again!? Definitely latter.

This bush looks like a face, though, right? Or does Gauguin just make me go crazy and see things that aren’t really there?

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Mar 30 2016
Art

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Mar 30 2016
Art

battle of the pauls

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Not to be redundant, but Paul Cezanne’s Still Life with Fruit Dish makes its appearance in Paul Gauguin’s Woman in front of a Still Life by Cezanne. I know what you’re thinking: WOW, Gauguin, super original.

A few things I absolutely hate about this work (surprise, surprise)…

1. Knife: Why does it look like it’s floating!? Worst.

2. Signature: Gauguin does a pretty rude move where he signs the white border of the Cezanne work. Like, are you serious, Gauguin? Way to take credit for a work you didn’t actually create with that borrowed background! Lucky us, though, since we get to interpret the signature as witness (a la Jan van Eyck’s Arnolfini Wedding Portrait) or as a self-important chump (a la Duchamp’s urinal). Personally, I’m going with latter.

3. Ownership: Gauguin once said that he would never sell this Cezanne without “direst necessity.” But guess what?! He later sold it to pay for medical treatment in Tahiti…something to do with syphilis, perhaps? (I ignore ALL dental analysis theories; don’t you dare rain on my parade, science!)

4. That WAIST: Mainly since I’m damn jealous. You can keep your hate-filled glare, though, girl. I’m not about that.

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Mar 25 2016
Art

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I have nothing clever to say about this work, other than to share its title is Portrait of a Young Woman as a Wise Virgin.

This means she’s neither wise, nor a virgin, right? Sebastiano del Piombo FTW on this broad. Cute braid, though.

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Mar 24 2016
Art

party in paris

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Max Beckmann’s Paris Society presents the viewer with a sensational soiree, yet zero attendees look happy to be there. (Note: All these fancypants subjects are a mix of Beckmann’s friends, one banker, and a music historian.)

I generally feel that way about parties, which is probably why I just copy all those betches instagram posts and send them to my friends.

Mar 24 2016
Art

9 things

Earlier this week, Katherine Brooks (HuffPo’s senior Arts & Culture editor) described nine things museums can do to improve how people experience art. Suggestions include rebranding, identifying the construct itself as a safe space, and working to ensure the spaces are accessible for a variety of diverse populations emotionally and physically.

It’s a really well-worded piece about how museums can do more for its audiences. And while I usually would just add some quip about “more alcohol, less mixers!” (well, that’s true, Katherine), I really just think museums these days are doing some of the coolest things to interact with its public, and I’m totally on board.

But really, less mixers.

Mar 21 2016
Art

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I can’t tell what I like more about this painting: the fact that this girl is stylish as can be in all this excess fabric, or that she’s actually throwing daggers at someone who undoubtedly flirted with her last night, but actually has a girlfriend.

Both usually happen to me, so, girl, I hear you. Men are the pits.

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Mar 20 2016
Art

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When I learn tomorrow’s the start of a five day work week.

Someone must pay.

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