Every single thing Mallory Ortberg has written, like, already has my wit and humor. Can you let me get a word in, Mallory?! You’re just too quick for me! Like, take this whole “Scenes from Zoe Saldana Movies that have Center Stage Quotes Instead” piece. Like, get out of my head. This movie will forever have Shawshank Syndrome for me, no matter what I have going on or who I’m about to see.
Read this article in its glorious entirety here.