arthipstory

Brad’s reminding us ALL it’s only Monday. It’s not even 8:30 in the morning, and I know today’s going to be a complete rush of nonsense.

“There will never be a new world order until women are a part of it.”

Alice Paul was born today in 1885, and pioneered all sorts of suffrage rights for women, including the 19th amendment granting women the right to vote. Though, can we come up with another word for suffrage?! Sounds so dreadfully sinister, don’t you think?

SO GUYS. I’ve been probably (okay, ultimately!) the worst at, uh, actually attending art shows lately. But I’m getting better – I’m already scheduling myself to see not one, but two (two!) art shows this month.

The first one is “Eye Pop: The Celebrity Gaze” at the National Portrait Gallery. I’m all about embodying Katy Perry’s stare to approaching strangers (and, like, if I could get away with this outfit, I would), so it would make sense for me to want to go. I spend so much damn time looking at magazines while doing my very best half-attempt on the arc trainer though, that I have low hopes for this meeting “high art” expectations.

The second one is “Gauguin to Picasso: The Staechelin & Im Obersteg Collections at the Phillips. Though, UGH, I legitimately f’ing hate Paul Gauguin, I’m going to go. See, the thing is, I promised my mother I’d better at interacting with things I dislike…like blind dates and whiny children (though, please God, don’t let these be related).

PS: Katy represents 2016 idealized…Picasso’s Absinthe Drinker is 2016, realized.

This boyfriend can do all he wants with his imaginary “Win, Lose, or Draw,” but I am only interested in this shallow pool of silver. And I guess his muscles.

To celebrate Ryan Gosling being adorable and laughing his ass off throughout sketches on SNL last night, I’m posting these and eating waffles at three in the afternoon. Hey, girl, let’s get coffee at the “Cafe at Arles.”

“On the floor I am more at ease,” he said. “I feel nearer, more a part of the painting since this way I can walk around it, work from the four sides and literally be in the painting.”

This quote is just about everything.

Paul Cezanne’s “Modern Olympia” sparked a whole lotta drama at its Salon exhibition, which, granted, considering we’re just as voyeuristic as this gentleman in the foreground. (Critics also called his style “delirious.” Also, sir, is that a whip?!)

Personally, I think all these prostitution symbols in the work (the dude, the dog, the handmaid) are today’s equivalent of over-the-knee boots at work. Something about them is just a little too Pretty Woman, don’t you think?

Diego Rivera (who, yeesh, just wasn’t even a nice guy) painted “The Flower Carrier” in 1935. I’m imagining a fine fellow experiencing a similar struggle carrying my own flowers I plan to receive this weekend.

Just kidding…like Clueless, I’m going to buy flowers and chocolates myself and pretend they’re from someone.

Friday’s off to a solid start.

This is “Joyousness.” Be real: NOTHING about a Gauguin is joyous, unless it’s thrown away.

But, ugh, let’s take a second to deconstruct how absolutely amazing this work is:

• Girl eating CHIPOTLE: I’m starting to realize where the title “Joyousness” came from. Also, babe, get clothed already.
• Second girlfriend’s eyebrow: Brilliant. Goddamn brilliant.
• Background idol worshipers: This group is like, better than brunch. It looks like the girl on the right’s breakin’ down a gosh darn yoga pose.

Let’s pause and discuss the reception of this work in the exhibition. Once Gauguin returned from his primitive vacay in Tahiti, his friends mocked the hell out of him for his stupid titles. They also made fun of the bright red dog in the foreground. Yo, Gauguin, this isn’t Clifford’s Big Adventure or anything like that, so let’s just chill.