arthipstory

Angelina looks as confused as I do. I bet she’s wondering, How can Mr. and Mrs. Smith do so well at the box office, and By The Sea sucks?

What can we say, Angie?  Two words: #TeamJen

This cutie was married to Dimitrie Cantemir, a not once, but two-time prince of Moldavia.

What I’m more curious about than him being some sort of composer was what exactly happened between 1693 and 1710 that served as the gap in his rule. Apparently, it was the Ottomans. And a bunch of other pretty terrible, short-term rulers that, LBH, weren’t very good-looking.

His second rule was only three weeks, which is ABOUT as long as my attempts to stop nonchalant swearing.

The weekend has so much potential, but I’m just like, Do yoga pants match this headdress? 

Durer really rocks the small-bang-and-major-tendrils look. Those flyaways though?….are killing me.

I’m guessing this penitent Magdalene is just hoping and pleading with divinity to let all her right swipes return the favor. Or turn its blind eye to that, ahem, SKULL UNDER YOUR PRAYER BOOK, GIRL!

Google lookin’ snazzy today.

Okay, girlfriend Juliette Recamier marries some dude 30 years her senior, and the ONLY thing he has to say to his buddy is she has “germs of virtue.” NO, REALLY.

Récamier wrote, “I am not in love with her, but I feel for her a genuine and tender attachment which convinces me that this interesting creature will be a partner who will ensure the happiness of my whole life…I have no doubt that the benefit will be reciprocal …. She possesses germs of virtue and principle such as are seldom seen so highly developed at so early an age ; she is tender-hearted, affectionate, charitable and kind, beloved in her home-circle and by all who know her”

What’s up is, I’m about to get all the boys interested in my home-circle, so they’ll have LOTS to chat about during Sunday football. I’m talkin’ elle-oh-tee-ess LOTS.

“Wizard of Oz” has four of Premiere Magazine’s 100 Greatest Movie Lines. Ruby slippers were actually silver in the original book (they looked wayyy better on screen with brand-new Technicolor). Reports suggest Toto made bank compared to the Munchkins (apparently, the Lollipop Guild isn’t unionized).

Trivia aside, I simply plan to look this awed at my own gosh-darn appearance as my Halloween persona this weekend. Me and…um, the whole world.

I’m going to imagine this a tableau of my weekend, where suitors will attempt to shower me with gifts, but my dog will just have NONE OF IT.

I am about to embark on every part of this woman’s journey should one more person mention the weekend in the middle of the week. I’m talking full on chainsmoking and cocktails before noon, EVERY PART.