arthipstory

Wanna make a cake for my birthday? Seems like the pastry chef Caitlin Freeman (author of Modern Art Desserts) knows just what I like: a lemon curd-filled cake with strawberry buttercream icing a la Wayne Thiebaud. Let me know when you want the shipping address, Caitlin! (Or any of you really, the recipe is here.)

I had to rip out about two hours worth of work on my recent cross-stitching project. I was LIVID. Mainly because I wasn’t wearing nearly the amount of silky layers I shoulda been. and I didn’t even have a rose adorning my loose updo.

I don’t understand how Grandma Moses portrays so many people bustling about in this weather. I mean, someone is this painting’s pouring maple sugar in the snow, for crying out loud! To make candy! Sounds like a lot of work to me. I’d be inside that cabin watching Center Stage over and over, eating store-bought candy that has NOT touched the elements.

Let’s go ahead and get one thing straight: My mom is hilarious. So when she emails me this morning, and sends me a link about talking patterns, I thought, “This is great, but not again, mother! What’s with people taking all my great ideas?!”

I just love your dress

Oh uh

What’s it chenille or

Okay yeah I guess you can touch it

No Susie

I don’t want to play yo-yos

I’m into doorknobs now

Seriously Ruth-Ann

Do you have a blazer for every holiday

Jesus you’re annoying

See more even amazing captioned patterns here.

That shadow on the mantle? Artist Nelson Shanks says Lewinsky’s dress.

“The reality is he’s probably the most famous liar of all time,” Shanks told the Philadelphia Daily News. “He and his administration did some very good things, of course, but I could never get this Monica thing completely out of my mind and it is subtly incorporated in the painting.”

Apparently, someone couldn’t get enough of the “is it or isn’t it?” question of a dress. It’s blue, by the way, on all accounts. IT IS BLUE.

Here’s something to validate your Monday: Mernet Larsen is a cool 75, and is hosting her first art exhibition in LA later this month. Her first. My birthday’s next week, so I’m just gonna go ahead and say, “JUST YOU WAIT, DREAMS!” and see what pans out in the next….fifty years. Yes, that’s the ticket, five-zero. Do the math and ASK NO QUESTIONS.



Turns out, this Picasso (called the Hairdresser) was sent in a box labeled “Art Craft” and was shipped for a measly $37. It was stolen from the Pompidou in Paris, and was stopped at customs. Good, I’m always suspicious of “art crafts” too. Call it kitsch and return to sender.